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14 Things No Internet User Ever Said

  1. I don't like net neutrality. Get rid of it so I can use the "slow-lane" Internet connection with websites my Internet service provider (ISP) chooses.
  2. It's okay for retail stores to use point-of-sale cash registers infected with malware that share my sensitive financial payment information with criminals.
  3. I like it when mobile apps developers build apps that steal all of my address book contents. It's even better when they don't warn me.
  4. I want the monthly bill from my ISP to be as complicated as my monthly cable TV bill.
  5. I love websites with video ads that play automatically and don't provide a mechanism to stop or pause the video.
  6. Facebook and Instagram: please take all of my photos and videos. You can have them. They are yours
  7. It's fine for websites to waste screen space by displaying the exact same page contents and navigation to laptop/desktop users that they show to smart phone users with smaller screens.
  8. I like it when the NSA ignores the Fourth Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. Even better, lie to me about what you're doing.
  9. It's okay for the FCC to allow ISPs and phone companies to merge back into a single, giant company. The loss of freedoms and loss of of competition is a good thing.
  10. I like that Google scans all e-mails of Google Mail users, including the messages non-Gmail users send to Gmail users. Even better: don't warn me nor provide a way to avoid the scanning.
  11. I like it when advertisers track all of my online habits and movements without providing a way to avoid the tracking
  12. It's fine for corporations and governments to take and store all of my personal information. It's valuable property I'm not interested in controlling.
  13. I like it when the NSA tracks and stores everyone's e-mails and phone calls, even people who don't know terrorists, don't communicate with terroris, and don't break any laws. Even better, lie to me about doing this.
  14. It's okay for the FCC to allow ISPs to provide broadband speeds  to USA subscribers that are slower and more costly than other countries. Less value and higher prices are good. That's American exceptionalism!


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